Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
