Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
