I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
