im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
