Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
