I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
