sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
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Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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