That's intense
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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