the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
