anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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