She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
