I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
