I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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