It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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