I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
