Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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