I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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