I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so let's talk penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
