Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
