I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
please come you make the beer taste better
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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