We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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