I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
