I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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