I must be too annoying 4 u.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
