I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
