I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
