Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
