i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
