butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
