your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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