I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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