Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
