Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
