why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
