Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
