Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
