Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
