Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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