My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
