I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
