why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
