I CAN MOONWALK!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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