Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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