he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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