I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
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He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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