Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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