I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
