He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
