dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
