Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
