I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
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We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
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This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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