i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This baby is an asshole
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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