i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
