My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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