she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
