so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
