Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
