They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
