HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize