well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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