Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
