Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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