too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
