trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
