I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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